Random slough of oneshots shoved together
by Midnight's Queen
Summary: Random things I wrote while bored in Geometry class. Please read & review.
1. Rain

Valkyrie Cain stared out at the pounding rain, a silent tear making its way gently down her face. The rain was reminding her of her first sight of Skulduggery Pleasant, skeleton Detective. It had been a night much like this one, rain pouring down, the bridge flooded, her alone in Gordon's house. Of course, she had been attacked that night, and had nearly died, and the next day was stiff, bruised and sore, but that fateful night had set her course for amazing adventures and helped her set her future.

Valkyrie sighed and wiped away the tear. She knew what she had to do to get Skul back, but after 6 months of no leads, no information, and no knowledge of where the hell he was when he lost his head, she was beginning to get pretty depressed. She really did not want to train in Necromancy, preferring to use her Elemental powers, but it was beginning to look as if she had no choice. She didn't know what was going on on the other side with the Faceless Ones, but she had an uneasy feeling that it wasn't pleasant for the skeleton detective. And she felt helpless.

Sniffling rather pathetically, she walked away from the window and went to go talk to Gordon. She liked the room where he was, and he made her feel a bit better. Until she walked out and was slammed back into harsh reality once again. Stopping, she changed her mind. She turned around and began to got to the roof. A good soaking in bone chilling rain would do her good.

Using air to lift her up, she sat on a piece of roofing that was rather flat. She had sat there with Skul many a time. She cursed herself for thining of the goood, semi-relaxed times they had had. At that point, she could have sworn that she had a masochistic streak, previously unknown. Still, it spurred her to look harder, work harder. She could ask around more. And, as loathe as she was to do it, she had to learn Necromancy. Even if she did, she could still practice her Elemental powers, right? She didn't have to give them up... She hoped.

She shook her head at the many thoughts in her head, many of them morbid. Such as the power issue, whether or not Skul was even alive after being trapped with the Faceless Ones for so long, if she could survive opening the portal yet again. If she could even find his skull. And to her, Ghastly, Tanith, and possibly China, that failure was not an option. Dreading her up and coming decision, she floated down off the roof. If she had to contact the Necromancer who offered to teach her, she'd rather not be sick.


	2. Surprise!

**Kay, these are just pointless drabbles that I wrote in Geometry class when I was done with my work and very bored. Thanks, Mr. Henry. Also, thanks to leannapotter cuz she's just so awesome for being my bestest friend in the whole universe. Anyway, Hope you enjoy!** **And it should be obvious that I am, most unfortunately, NOT Derek Landy.**

Valkyrie was lost. No, she was more than lost as she listened to Fletcher and Tanith argue about… Well, about nothing, really. They were just making useless points and countering them. She wondered how long they could go on like that, and moved on. She wished Skul was here. He wouldn't have left her just sitting there. But oh, no, he just HAD to be off gods-know where, doing gods-knew what. Growling quietly about pointless arguments, she left to go to Gordon's study. At least it would be… GORDON!! That was it! She would just go visit Gordon. He was always good for a laugh.

Nodding in satisfaction, she quietly left the room. She did wonder a bit about how long it would take them to notice her absence…oohh… Quickening her pace, she reached the study, opened the door on the bookcase, and saw Gordon sitting there.

" Gordon, is there any way to spy on the people in the living room?" she asked him quickly.

" Yes…" he replied, slightly confused. Valkyrie lost her patience,

" GORDON!! How?!" She demanded of him.

The echo-man stood up and opened the bookcase that was in the room. Valkyrie raised an eyebrow and followed him silently. The next time she looked down, she had a perfect view of the living room, and she could hear everything.

" Does anybody know about this?" Val asked him in a whisper and Gordon just shook his head. They both grinned evilly. They turned back when they heard a window open. Val sighed. Of COURSE Skulduggery wouldn't use the door. Damn suit of bones.

They watched silently as… Well, _someone _walked into the room. Fletcher looked up and shouted, jumping out of his seat. And that, in turn, made Tanith look up. And she froze.

" S-s -s - Skulduggery?" She stuttered before getting up and promptly fainting. Fletcher, fortunately, caught her before she could hit the table. The man walked over and helped Fletcher get her over to the couch.

" Who the hell are you?!" Fletcher asked him, rather rudely.

Mr. Man then turned to Fletcher, smiled, theatrically bowed, and said, "Skulduggery Pleasant, at your service. And now that you know who I am, which you should have before, Fletcher, you can tell me where Valkyrie is." Mr. Man- Skulduggery?- finished his little speech and Fletcher looked at him. And snorted.

" If you are Skulduggery Pleasant, which I doubt, because he is a skeleton, then you should know what Valkyrie's first outfit made by Ghastly was."

Mr. Man/Skul sighed and rolled his eyes. " Obviously, it was a black outfit with silver clasps and pants, with the tunic shirt sleeveless, with a three quarter length coat, which she wore when we fought vampires when she was 12. She fell into a tree." Mr. Man/ Skul answered, sounding rather exasperated. " Now, where is Valkyrie?"

------Valkyrie was shocked. Nobody, except Tanith and Skul knew she had run into a tree. So this man had to be Skul.. Unbelievable though it was..----

Fletcher looked around, expecting to see Valkyrie sitting somewhere, looking as shocked as he felt.

-----Valkyrie had to stifle a chuckle at his bewildered face.-----

Fletcher looked at Skulduggery and gulped.

" I… I don't.. know…" he stuttered/mumbled quietly. Skulduggery looked beyond livid. In fact, he looked rather murderous. It was kind of scary.

----- Valkyrie decided to take pity on poor Fletcher, before Skul murdered him. So, when they turned around, presumably to look for her, she glanced at Gordon, saw him nod, found a latch, opened the door and slipped through as quietly as she could, closed it silently, and looked at them walking away, arguing loudly at how Fletcher couldn't notice her absence. Smirking, she snuck up behind them, and…

" Hi! You guys looking for me?" she asked, quite unexpectedly and cheerily from right behind them.

The two men jumped, and twirled around. And stared. Skulduggery raised an eyebrow. She smirked.

"What you did to Tanith wasn't nice, you know." She informed him. "As well as what you did to Fletcher, prat though he is." She smirked again, enjoying their speechlessness and taking advantage of it.

Skulduggery just raised his other eyebrow. Then he opened his mouth, as if to speak, and hesitated, closing it again. Fletcher was gaping like a fish. Val laughed. She fell to the ground, tears streaming down her face as she enjoyed their faces. She had really surprised them.

Fletcher was shocked. First she disappears, then reappears and scolds Skulduggery without a hint of shock, and now she was laughing. What the hell???? It was more than his below average intelligence could take.

Tanith woke up. She took in the scene before her. Val on the ground, laughing, Mr. Man who claims to be Skulduggery looking at her with raised eyebrows, and the ever annoying Fletcher looking vaguely pissed off and confused. Finally, Val got up, clutching her sides. She gave Skul a hug and then asked the question that was going through hers, Tanith's, and Fletcher's minds:

" How are you human again?"


	3. Running

**She was running. Running from what, she had no idea. Was it the stench of Death? The terrors of life? Was she running from the fact that, despite everything, she had failed. Failed to protect the one she loved the most, who had hopefully loved her back? Was she running from the pointless carnage? No. She was trying to run from reality. The reality that this time, he wouldn't come back. She stumbled and fell. Tears streamed down her face and she curled up in the cold darkness, wishing the cursed Red Dawn would never come. But, after several cold, lonely hours, and in spite of her wishes, the Red Dawn did come.**

**Any passerby, and there were none as she had run as far as she could from any buildings, signs, and people, would have heard the heartbreaking sobs, soft, keening in the harsh night, now morning, and seen a small, curled up figure in black on the stony ground, shaking softly. The small figure slowly uncurled and stood up. He face was pale, her eyes as red as the sunrise but as resolute as a boulder. She knew what she had to do.**

**She went to her house, left to her by her uncle. Being as silent as she could, so not to wake the people who were undoubtedly there, she grabbed a sharp knife, the one she had kept for such a purpose. She turned, ready to go to the basement \ and froze. It was impossible! She had to be hallucinating. But there he was, IN THE FLESH. She uttered a single word and fainted. And he did the same thing as the first time they met. He caught her.**


	4. Surprise, part 2

**Kay, Lythia Harpen asked me to write more, and I assumed she was talking about chapter two, so here it is. I know it's a bit short, but at least its something. And do I really have to say that I'm not Derek Landy again? We all know I'm not. Any who, enjoy!**

Skulduggery tilted his head and thought about it.

" Well," he said, drawing out the word annoyingly, "I drank water from the fountain of Youth and BOOM! I had my skin back!" He finished dramatically, a smirk playing around the edges of his mouth.

Valkyrie, Fletcher, and Tanith all looked at each other, then back at Skulduggery. Together, they raised a skeptical eyebrow, their faces clearly telling him that they did not believe him. Skul gasped dramatically, and sadly shook his head.

"Your disbelief wounds me, you know. I am mortally hurt by your blatant incredulity!" And as he said this, he unconvincingly held his hand over his heart and fell to the ground, acting as if he were dying. Valkyrie snorted. If it was drama he wanted, drama was what he was going to get.

"Oh, you poor, thing!" She cried out, sounding so real that Fletcher and Tanith looked at her like she was crazy. Inwardly, she laughed maniacally at their reactions. So far, so good. She threw herself at his recumbent form, weeping over his body. At this point, everybody was looking at her. Perfect!

Inside, she was laughing so hard that she had tears streaming down her face. How beneficial to her act!

Continuing, she clutched at his body, trying so hard not to bust out laughing.

"Oh, how cruel we were! To not believe our perpetually truthful Skulduggery Pleasant! Oh, the irony! Please come back to us, my dear, dear friend!" And at this, she fell onto his chest, shoulder shaking to make it look like she was actually crying. She made the gales of laughter sound like loud, inconsolable sobs, and snuck a peek at everyone's reactions. They were staring at her, slack jawed. They believed her performance. Even Skulduggery!

And that was when she lost it. She fell back off Skul's chest, and fell down, laughing so hard she couldn't breathe. That was priceless. Opening her streaming eyes, she looked at them. They were still staring at her in shock, not quite believing what they were watching.

"You… You actually… believed… me…" she gasped out, and that started her laughing all over again.

Tanith looked at Valkyrie and couldn't quite believe it. She had no idea that the younger girl was such a good little actress, and didn't quite know what to do. Really, where did she get her skill? Did she have training?

Skulduggery's thoughts were much like Tanith's. He knew her for so long, and never once did she let on she knew how to act, except for that one time when the Torment had told Skulduggery to kill her. Other than that, she had either done things with overdone drama or sarcasm. He wasn't sure if he liked her new skill, simply for the fact that he'd never know when she was lying or not.

Fletcher just stood there, slack jawed. He wasn't sure if Valkyrie was serious or not. Although, judging by the way she was laughing on the ground, she probably was. But she had been so _convincing_… Well, he just couldn't be sure. And he was angry at not being sure. So he brought them back to the previous subject… Or at least, he would have if Tanith hadn't spoken first.

"My God, Val! Where on bloody Earth did you learn to act like that?! I want lessons!" She exclaimed, going over and helping the now-gasping girl up. Valkyrie grinned.

"If you wanna learn how to act like that, then you have to start as a 12 year old running around solving magical crimes and saving the world while hiding it from your clueless parents. Or, just run around with Skul. That'll give anyone a certain flair for the dramatics," she answered, grinning like a Cheshire cat. She winked at the person in question, then repeated her question.

"So, are you going to answer me honestly this time, Mr. Pleasant? Or are we going to have a repeat performance?" She looked at him, a slight smirk playing round her mouth and a raised eyebrow to show her almost utter seriousness. She was still too amused to be completely straight faced.


	5. The Karaoke Bar

_ Okay, I'm sorry about the long wait between updates. I've been really busy lately. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!_

_ Oh, and the usual disclaimers apply, unfortunately._

_ Have fun!_

_ MQ_

Valkyrie sighed and pushed yet _another _drunken jackass off of her. Why she'd let Tanith talk her into coming to this damned karaoke bar, she had no idea. She did love to have a couple of drinks now and again, but this was ridiculous. She'd had four people grab her, three actually grope her, and countless others try to grind against her. Really, nobody should get that belligerent drunk.

Rolling her eyes, she turned around and saw that, to her horror, a huge white spotlight was trained directly at her. Oh, hell no. She looked around quickly, but before she could make her escape Tanith came out of seemingly nowhere and looped her arm around her shoulders.

"It's your turn, there, Val!" She exclaimed loudly, though it was slightly difficult to understand her since she was slurring her words. Giving a sigh of defeat and annoyance, she slowly walked up to the stage.

"Okay, hon," the man dealing with the computers and sound said. "What song do you want to sing?"

Grumbling that she most didn'tly _want _to sing but knowing there was no way to get out of it, she said the first song that popped into her head.

" My Immortal, by Evanescence, if you please." She told the man exasperatedly. He grinned, nodded, and handed her a microphone. Wishing she had had a few more drinks in her system before doing this, Valkyrie shuffled onto the stage and waited embarrassingly in front of the crowd for the music to start. After hearing a few hasty, not to mention drunken, catcalls, the music started and Valkyrie smiled at the sadness the song portrayed. No better way to get a room full of intoxicated people depressed than a sad song. Taking a deep breath, she began to sing.

_I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears _

_And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave_

_Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone_

Seeing the people look around in a somewhat confused manner, Valkyrie smiled grimly to herself and pressed on, pouring all the sorrow she had ever felt in life into the song and making her voice as mournful as she could.

_These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real _

_There's just too much that time cannot erase _

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears _

_When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears _

_And I held your hand through all of these years _

_But you still have all of me_

Fighting the urge to smile and ruin the song, Valkyrie pressed on and thought of all the things that could potentially happen in the future: Death of her parents, her dearest friends, anything and everything that was even remotely depressing. She took all of the negative energy she was producing and infused it into the song, making it even more mournful. She looked out and saw some of the quieter people, and quite a few of the not so quiet people, look down and discreetly wipe moisture away from their eyes.

_You used to captivate me by your resonating light _

_Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind _

_Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams _

_Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me _

_These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real _

_There's just too much that time cannot erase _

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears _

_When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears _

_And I held your hand through all of these years _

_But you still have all of me _

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone _

_But though you're still with me, _

_I've been alone all along _

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears _

_When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears _

_And I held your hand through all of these years _

_But you still have all of me, me, me_

Feeling slightly better as she heard the last strains of music fade away, Valkyrie gave a little nod to the crowd and headed off the stage, pausing to give the microphone back to the tech guy. As she looked at him, she saw that his eyes were red and puffy.

"Beautifully done," he told her with a slight catch in his voice. He looked as if he were repressing sobs as he took the thing away from her. She only gave a little smile and walked back to where Tanith was sitting glumly at the bar, sniffling. She looked up as Valkyrie approached her.

"Let's go home," she said, and Valkyrie could only agree and help her up from her seat.

'_Just wait until I tell Skulduggery about this,' _Valkyrie thought as they left the bar.


End file.
